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Hi, I’m Herman. Those strange Flexipop! chappies very kindly asked me to be the magazine’s mascot when it came of age in issue 21, the one with some lovely girls from Belle Stars in wet t-shirts on the cover together with a nice free Genesis flexi disc. Yes, Genesis - who would’ve thought it?

They were a salacious lot up at Flexipop! but I loved them anyway, unfortunately. I’m a lot older and wiser now, and to be honest, I never would’ve agreed to be the mascot if I knew the magazine was going to be banned three issues after I got involved. But by then it was too late. I was hooked. It was a drug and, like Depeche Mode, I just couldn’t get enough. They turned my head with their Testaments of Youth and their Working Weeks and their trifles and their photo stories and their bizarre cartoons. I used to like the soft stuff, like Smash Hits and Number One, but this was hard. Really hard. And once you’ve been hard, it’s difficult to go soft again. God, I wish I’d never met them.

So think twice before you decide to open these pages. Like me, they could change your life, forever…

Working week Testament of youth Trifles